¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think Valentine\'s day is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-15 499

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I've never thought about Valentine's day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
But some people mightn't get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
So we have to respect other people's mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Valentine's day is a joyous occasion. It is a day when we can show our love towards other people like our family and friends. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I've never thought about Valentine's day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
>> CORRECT

We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
>> We can express our love to other people, so this is the first advantage.

And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
>>Also, we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.

But some people mightn't get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
>> Some people don't receive chocolates from others so they feel depressed about it. 

Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
>> Though we have a good purpose, if we can cause bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.

People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
>> All people are different, so we see things in different ways. 

So we have to respect other people's mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
>> So, we have to respect other's perspectives and think about the disadvantages as well. 

But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.
>> My personal opinion is that I think it is a good event due to its good purpose. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116939 How could public transport in your city be improved? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 545
116938 What do you think are the different reasons for people to want... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 3882
116937 2022.3.1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 386
116936 How do you understand inflation? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 584
116935 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 564
116934 I think it\'s acutally not sad story :) Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 680
116933 If you were a very rich person, Where would you go for your next... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 398
116932 Do you think ego also affects a person\'s leadership? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2
116931 What food can you cook or prepare well? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116930 3/1 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 594
116929 Is going to coffee shops popular in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116928 The war between Ukraine and Russia ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 803
116927 Can you consider inciting a war a solution to diplomatic issues? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2
116926 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116925 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 369
116924 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 886
116923 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 752
116922 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 854
116921 Strawvberry festival. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1162
116920 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04