¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think Valentine\'s day is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-15 471

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I've never thought about Valentine's day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
But some people mightn't get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
So we have to respect other people's mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Valentine's day is a joyous occasion. It is a day when we can show our love towards other people like our family and friends. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I've never thought about Valentine's day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
>> CORRECT

We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
>> We can express our love to other people, so this is the first advantage.

And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
>>Also, we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.

But some people mightn't get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
>> Some people don't receive chocolates from others so they feel depressed about it. 

Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
>> Though we have a good purpose, if we can cause bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.

People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
>> All people are different, so we see things in different ways. 

So we have to respect other people's mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
>> So, we have to respect other's perspectives and think about the disadvantages as well. 

But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.
>> My personal opinion is that I think it is a good event due to its good purpose. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116541 89-year-old graduates college with highest honors À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116540 I think I\'m going to work ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 452
116539 Stocks:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 397
116538 use of the phone ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 541
116537 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 254
116536 Do you exercise? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 3
116535 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 197
116534 What do you think about voting? Is it a good way to make... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 521
116533 Does your family have a movie night? Tell me about it. ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 472
116532 29.30.31 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 454
116531 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116530 When I got a job, I moved out of my parents\' house. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116529 Is giving a good first impression important? ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116528 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 249
116527 How do you feel and what do you do after a long vacation?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 0
116526 How do you feel and what do you do after a long vacation?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 253
116525 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116524 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 241
116523 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 260
116522 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04