¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think Valentine\'s day is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-15 772

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I've never thought about Valentine's day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
But some people mightn't get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
So we have to respect other people's mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Valentine's day is a joyous occasion. It is a day when we can show our love towards other people like our family and friends. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I've never thought about Valentine's day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
>> CORRECT

We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
>> We can express our love to other people, so this is the first advantage.

And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
>>Also, we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.

But some people mightn't get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
>> Some people don't receive chocolates from others so they feel depressed about it. 

Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
>> Though we have a good purpose, if we can cause bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.

People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
>> All people are different, so we see things in different ways. 

So we have to respect other people's mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
>> So, we have to respect other's perspectives and think about the disadvantages as well. 

But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.
>> My personal opinion is that I think it is a good event due to its good purpose. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115244 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115243 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115242 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115241 If you can invent something, what would it be? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 878
115240 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 584
115239 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1206
115238 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 939
115237 How do you feel about taking revenge? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 637
115236 About museum! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1268
115235 Staying at home can save lots of lives. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1160
115234 Home Work ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 3282
115233 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 270
115232 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115231 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 849
115230 Homework (1/4) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 5
115229 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115228 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115227 I want more job. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 408
115226 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115225 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04