¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think Valentine\'s day is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-15 864

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I've never thought about Valentine's day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
But some people mightn't get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
So we have to respect other people's mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Valentine's day is a joyous occasion. It is a day when we can show our love towards other people like our family and friends. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I've never thought about Valentine's day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
>> CORRECT

We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
>> We can express our love to other people, so this is the first advantage.

And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
>>Also, we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.

But some people mightn't get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
>> Some people don't receive chocolates from others so they feel depressed about it. 

Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
>> Though we have a good purpose, if we can cause bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.

People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
>> All people are different, so we see things in different ways. 

So we have to respect other people's mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
>> So, we have to respect other's perspectives and think about the disadvantages as well. 

But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.
>> My personal opinion is that I think it is a good event due to its good purpose. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114616 If you could stop time, what would you do and why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114615 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 578
114614 ¿µ¾îÀϱ⠹®¹ý ¿À·ù±³Á¤ ¹× ´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥ÇöÀ¸·Î ±³Á¤... ÇÏ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 8
114613 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114612 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 407
114611 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114610 What is a successful life? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 438
114609 Have you ever tried commuting in a foreign country? Write about... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 617
114608 12/9 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 415
114607 What do you like about the city you are living in? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 452
114606 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 366
114605 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 565
114604 my homework ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114603 Do you like meeting new people? Why is that? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1010
114602 What do you consider in a restaurant when eating out? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114601 What do you think is the worst collection that a person can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114600 In south korea high school culture ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 375
114599 Especially be careful to language ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 404
114598 Spring:The Season of Life and hope ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 443
114597 breakfast ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 399

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04