¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stocks:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-17 788

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
And then naturally me too get the interest.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Actually, investing in stocks is a very good investment. For some people, this is a gamble because there is no assurance whether you are going to earn money from it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. 
>> CORRECT

Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
>> Although, sometimes buying stocks can be dangerous. It would be good if you  sell them at the right timing. 

And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
>> These days, my mother has been very interested in stocks. 

And then naturally me too get the interest.
>> It naturally made me interested as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120150 About my pleasant shopping experience. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 799
120149 Are there any hobbies you would you like to try? ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 932
120148 homework ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 779
120147 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 2
120146 greeting ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 691
120145 What is the dirtiest job you could think of? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 0
120144 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 985
120143 Do you think it is better to have children when you are older or... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1180
120142 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1
120141 political mamas ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1006
120140 what is the most difficult thing about learning English? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1247
120139 What is the most rewarding part of your job? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 3
120138 IELTS part2 ÇÔ*¸® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 3
120137 What characteristic, talent, or skill runs in your family? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1
120136 What do you hope for yourself in the future? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1034
120135 Tell me something that not a lot of people know about you. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1489
120134 6/23 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 981
120133 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 2
120132 What do you think is the best country in the world and why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 1176
120131 Homework For 06.23.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04