¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stocks:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-17 542

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
And then naturally me too get the interest.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Actually, investing in stocks is a very good investment. For some people, this is a gamble because there is no assurance whether you are going to earn money from it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. 
>> CORRECT

Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
>> Although, sometimes buying stocks can be dangerous. It would be good if you  sell them at the right timing. 

And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
>> These days, my mother has been very interested in stocks. 

And then naturally me too get the interest.
>> It naturally made me interested as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118036 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 5
118035 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 416
118034 Is travel education? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 398
118033 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 389
118032 Should governments allow people to drink products that make... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1231
118031 Do you think it would be harder to live with a physical... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 546
118030 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 455
118029 Fashion is important thing ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 653
118028 My Favorite Thing about Myself ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 911
118027 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118026 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 632
118025 2022.4.5 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 708
118024 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 414
118023 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118022 If you can plant a tree in your name, what tree will you plant? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 752
118021 4/5 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 410
118020 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 3
118019 What is your favorite healthy food? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 1
118018 What place would you like to visit soon? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 642
118017 Is it morally right to spend a lot of money on pets, rather than... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04