¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stocks:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-17 682

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
And then naturally me too get the interest.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Actually, investing in stocks is a very good investment. For some people, this is a gamble because there is no assurance whether you are going to earn money from it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. 
>> CORRECT

Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
>> Although, sometimes buying stocks can be dangerous. It would be good if you  sell them at the right timing. 

And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
>> These days, my mother has been very interested in stocks. 

And then naturally me too get the interest.
>> It naturally made me interested as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118464 4.20 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 543
118463 Rural area. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 669
118462 The credit card ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 2
118461 If you can change something about your lifestyle, what would it... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 616
118460 Email ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 6
118459 What is importance of English language. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 621
118458 Email format ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 6
118457 Interrupt conversation ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 11
118456 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 1
118455 How to make spaghetti sauce ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 9
118454 2022.4.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 558
118453 4/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 540
118452 What is the best part of weekend vacation? What\'s the worst? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 565
118451 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 3
118450 How is the Internet affecting our intelligence? Describe your... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 624
118449 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 557
118448 part 2 ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 516
118447 Why do we need weekends? What are your plans for this weekend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 657
118446 What restaurant in your country do you recommend a foreigner to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 622
118445 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 453

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04