¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stocks:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-17 394

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
And then naturally me too get the interest.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Actually, investing in stocks is a very good investment. For some people, this is a gamble because there is no assurance whether you are going to earn money from it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. 
>> CORRECT

Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
>> Although, sometimes buying stocks can be dangerous. It would be good if you  sell them at the right timing. 

And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
>> These days, my mother has been very interested in stocks. 

And then naturally me too get the interest.
>> It naturally made me interested as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116739 Google Doc ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116738 The weekend ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2
116737 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 493
116736 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 726
116735 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116734 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116733 Writing Task(Feb 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 559
116732 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 850
116731 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 809
116730 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 728
116729 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 715
116728 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 619
116727 Most People Keep their New Year\'s Resolution À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116726 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 461
116725 If you could choose an activity which you and your family could... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116724 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116723 Do you think that older people make better leaders? Explain your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116722 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 737
116721 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 6
116720 DO you have too many things in your home? Does it feel cluttered... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04