¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stocks:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-17 491

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
And then naturally me too get the interest.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Actually, investing in stocks is a very good investment. For some people, this is a gamble because there is no assurance whether you are going to earn money from it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I had a lot of money, I would buy a lot of stocks. 
>> CORRECT

Because sometimes stock is so dangeorouse but it would be good if you sell them at the right timing.
>> Although, sometimes buying stocks can be dangerous. It would be good if you  sell them at the right timing. 

And these day, my mother very interested at stocks.
>> These days, my mother has been very interested in stocks. 

And then naturally me too get the interest.
>> It naturally made me interested as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115856 What is your favorite movie? Why? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 256
115855 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 427
115854 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 396
115853 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115852 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 656
115851 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115850 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 495
115849 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115848 ESSAY: Explain this quote: No Man Is An Island Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 377
115847 Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 303
115846 HOMEWORK ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 506
115845 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 201
115844 The upset ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115843 Discrimination ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 476
115842 Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 501
115841 Why kids are not should be read news. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 373
115840 ESSAY: Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1076
115839 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115838 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115837 writing È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04