¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-18 1006

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, marriage is important.
If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
And also there is another function of marriage.
We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's true. It's a personal choice so we should respect everyone's opinion. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, marriage is important.
>> CORRECT

If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
>>If people don't marry, we can't continue our history.

So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
>> So I think marriage is important for the next generations. 

And also there is another function of marriage.
>> There are also other functions for marriage. 

We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
>> We can earn money together if we marry, so we can live more comfortably. 

And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
>> Also, I think we can get married for our loved ones. 

Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
>> Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge other people to feel think the same way.

But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.
>> At some point, I think marriage is important and good in my life. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115977 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1233
115976 How has technology changed business? Do you think it\'s created... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 799
115975 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115974 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 760
115973 Who is the teacher that inspired you the most and what is the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115972 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115971 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1202
115970 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115969 Is graffiti art? Why or why not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 656
115968 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1108
115967 A stranger ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115966 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115965 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115964 hi °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1049
115963 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1179
115962 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 673
115961 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115960 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 863
115959 Live with someone ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1007
115958 Homework (1/26) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04