¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-18 1054

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, marriage is important.
If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
And also there is another function of marriage.
We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's true. It's a personal choice so we should respect everyone's opinion. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, marriage is important.
>> CORRECT

If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
>>If people don't marry, we can't continue our history.

So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
>> So I think marriage is important for the next generations. 

And also there is another function of marriage.
>> There are also other functions for marriage. 

We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
>> We can earn money together if we marry, so we can live more comfortably. 

And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
>> Also, I think we can get married for our loved ones. 

Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
>> Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge other people to feel think the same way.

But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.
>> At some point, I think marriage is important and good in my life. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115718 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115717 Homework. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 0
115716 Can goals help to change your life? How? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 448
115715 you can¡¯t buy happiness\". If you were richer, do you think you... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 383
115714 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115713 Homework (1/18) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 2
115712 What do you think are the characteristics of a good leader? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 325
115711 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 689
115710 More young Koreans hire housekeepers À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 0
115709 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115708 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 487
115707 write about the next endangered anmal À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115706 If you could be a super hero, which super hero would you be? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1141
115705 Why I\'m not scared from mom and dad ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 606
115704 Book Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1263
115703 introduction script ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 9
115702 What special features do you think should be added to computers? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 387
115701 Do you think beauty is the same for every person? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 869
115700 Do you think Interstella can come true? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 845
115699 My bad accident\'s experience ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 506

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04