¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-18 1148

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, marriage is important.
If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
And also there is another function of marriage.
We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's true. It's a personal choice so we should respect everyone's opinion. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, marriage is important.
>> CORRECT

If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
>>If people don't marry, we can't continue our history.

So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
>> So I think marriage is important for the next generations. 

And also there is another function of marriage.
>> There are also other functions for marriage. 

We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
>> We can earn money together if we marry, so we can live more comfortably. 

And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
>> Also, I think we can get married for our loved ones. 

Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
>> Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge other people to feel think the same way.

But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.
>> At some point, I think marriage is important and good in my life. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114880 My thoughts about vaccine ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 2429
114879 German village ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 2
114878 boring time ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 319
114877 dream vacation to me ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 617
114876 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1470
114875 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 584
114874 Does education guarantee a good job? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 472
114873 Homework: Which do you think is better, adopting pets or buying... ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 856
114872 What do the clothes someone wears say about that person? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 0
114871 Homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 0
114870 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 0
114869 What was your dream job when you were young? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 5
114868 miss ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 421
114867 What do you think should the government of South Korea do with... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 490
114866 homework. Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 316
114865 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 0
114864 Which is better, studying in a private school, public school or... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1086
114863 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 344
114862 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 447
114861 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 799

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04