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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Writing Task(Feb 14th, 2022)

작성자: 남*승
2022-02-19 464

회원님의 영작문

1) What was the most memorable thing you did during your university days?
>> When I volunteered to assist to run the National Paralympic for a few days.
I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period ; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Valleyball Staium and in the Stadium. When I first saw him stepping down the stairs in the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated. And so were most of the athletes joining the Valleyball Pralympic.
However, to my surprise, they walked using their hands carrying heavy bags and even went up the stairs in the accommodation faster than me. And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Valleyball Athletes! The players I met were muscular and managed themselves well than anyone I know. And most of all, they cherished themselves and have a strong mental power. I was shocked and speechless. I was ashamed of myself having the prejudice for the disables.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, U Seung!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this. Let's talk more about it later :)

~T. Roanne ^_^
=====================
When I volunteered to assist to run the National Paralympic for a few days.
>> Correct! 
I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period ; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Valleyball Staium and in the Stadium. 
>> I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Volleyball Staium and in the Stadium. 
When I first saw him stepping down the stairs in the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated.
>>When I first saw him stepping down the stairs on the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated. 
And so were most of the athletes joining the Valleyball Pralympic.
>> And so were most of the athletes joining the Volleyball Paralympic.
However, to my surprise, they walked using their hands carrying heavy bags and even went up the stairs in the accommodation faster than me. 
>> Correct! 
And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Valleyball Athletes! 
>>And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Volleyball Athletes! 
The players I met were muscular and managed themselves well than anyone I know.
>> Correct! 
And most of all, they cherished themselves and have a strong mental power. 
>> Correct! 
I was shocked and speechless. I was ashamed of myself having the prejudice for the disables.
>> Correct! 

NOTE: THE CORRECTIONS ARE MOSTLY ON YOUR SPELLING. PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THAT! THE SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION WERE GOOD. ^_^
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