¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Feb 14th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-02-19 639

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1) What was the most memorable thing you did during your university days?
>> When I volunteered to assist to run the National Paralympic for a few days.
I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period ; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Valleyball Staium and in the Stadium. When I first saw him stepping down the stairs in the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated. And so were most of the athletes joining the Valleyball Pralympic.
However, to my surprise, they walked using their hands carrying heavy bags and even went up the stairs in the accommodation faster than me. And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Valleyball Athletes! The players I met were muscular and managed themselves well than anyone I know. And most of all, they cherished themselves and have a strong mental power. I was shocked and speechless. I was ashamed of myself having the prejudice for the disables.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this. Let's talk more about it later :)

~T. Roanne ^_^
=====================
When I volunteered to assist to run the National Paralympic for a few days.
>> Correct! 
I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period ; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Valleyball Staium and in the Stadium. 
>> I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Volleyball Staium and in the Stadium. 
When I first saw him stepping down the stairs in the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated.
>>When I first saw him stepping down the stairs on the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated. 
And so were most of the athletes joining the Valleyball Pralympic.
>> And so were most of the athletes joining the Volleyball Paralympic.
However, to my surprise, they walked using their hands carrying heavy bags and even went up the stairs in the accommodation faster than me. 
>> Correct! 
And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Valleyball Athletes! 
>>And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Volleyball Athletes! 
The players I met were muscular and managed themselves well than anyone I know.
>> Correct! 
And most of all, they cherished themselves and have a strong mental power. 
>> Correct! 
I was shocked and speechless. I was ashamed of myself having the prejudice for the disables.
>> Correct! 

NOTE: THE CORRECTIONS ARE MOSTLY ON YOUR SPELLING. PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THAT! THE SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION WERE GOOD. ^_^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115779 Writing Task: Do you spend a lot of time in bed when you\'re... ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1096
115778 Where do you want to go while you still have days left for this... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1721
115777 What is a successful life? What habits should you have to have a... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1406
115776 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115775 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1814
115774 There are two ways for relaxing ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1455
115773 Home Work ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1106
115772 What do you think is your main purpose in life? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1404
115771 Money is most need thing ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1020
115770 Automatically read my mind ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1516
115769 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 0
115768 Essay (Jan 20th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 782
115767 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1931
115766 what do you do to improve? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 3
115765 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1487
115764 What do you think is the most important thing to make a happy... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1323
115763 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115762 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115761 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 788
115760 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1019

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04