¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2022-02-19 524

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think is the best invention ever and why?

I think smartphone is the best invention until now. Because we can use the function of map, telephone, computer, mp3 and camera etc.
Before the smartphone was invented, we had to use these functions by each devices. But as soon as the smartphone was launched, we
didn't have to carry a lot of devices. We just need to carry a small device that we can hold by a hand.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won :)

Smartphones really are the best inventions. They are very useful for our society nowadays. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think smartphone is the best invention until now. Because we can use the function of map, telephone, computer, mp3 and camera etc.
>> I think smartphones are the best inventions until now because we can use the functions such as maps, dial pad, computer, mp3, camera etc. 

Before the smartphone was invented, we had to use these functions by each devices. 
>> Before smartphones were invented, we had to use these functions by individual devices. 

But as soon as the smartphone was launched, we didn't have to carry a lot of devices. 
>> But as soon as the smartphones were launched, we didn't have to carry a lot of devices. 

We just need to carry a small device that we can hold by a hand.
>>We just need to carry a small device that we can hold by hand.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115837 writing È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115836 school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 729
115835 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 648
115834 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 762
115833 01/20/2022 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 385
115832 2022/1/19 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 440
115831 01/18/2022 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1070
115830 How often do you use public transport? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115829 Are older people actually wiser? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 962
115828 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 1
115827 1. What are the things that make you happy? 2. What are the... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 334
115826 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 1435
115825 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 950
115824 I have but now it\'s change ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 1050
115823 Am I right track?! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 896
115822 Essay (Jan 21th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 804
115821 Does anyone famous come from your hometown? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 631
115820 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 603
115819 Places with Contents ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 822
115818 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 967

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04