¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why I think learning English is important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2022-02-20 743

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think learning English is important.
That is because when we don't learn English, we failed at the entrance exam.
My second reason is when we don't learn English, we can't do communicate with foreigners.
My third reason is when we don't learn English, it is impossible to learn another subject. That is because there are so many English is in at our subjects.
Finally, when we have mastered this English, we have so much money from the government.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Joey!   The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Good job!  

Please take note of the corrections. 


- Teacher Debbie

I think learning English is important.
>> This is a good sentence.

That is because when we don't learn English, we failed at the entrance exam.
>> That is because when we don't learn English, we will fail an entrance exam.

My second reason is when we don't learn English, we can't do communicate with foreigners.
>> Moreover, we won't be able to communicate with foreigners.

My third reason is when we don't learn English, it is impossible to learn another subject. 
>> When we don't learn English, it will be impossible to learn another subject. 

That is because there are so many English is in at our subjects.
>> That is because there are so many English words in other subjects.

Finally, when we have mastered this English, we have so much money from the government.
>> When we have mastered English, we can get so much money from the government.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116798 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 3
116797 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116796 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 570
116795 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 0
116794 Cell-phone is successful result of technology ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 0
116793 \"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 579
116792 what do you usually do with your family? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 666
116791 How does cheating affect our educational system? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116790 How can the government assist in promoting being a vegetarian? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116789 What is a \"bucket list\"? What are 5 things on your bucket list? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1066
116788 homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 974
116787 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1242
116786 Could you compare yourself to a thing? What is it? and Why? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1111
116785 If you could give advice to Korea\'s next president, what would... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1473
116784 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1181
116783 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 670
116782 What do you think is the best company to work at in your country... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1081
116781 Are instant noodles unhealthy? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116780 The weekend of the third. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116779 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 897

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04