¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why I think learning English is important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2022-02-20 805

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think learning English is important.
That is because when we don't learn English, we failed at the entrance exam.
My second reason is when we don't learn English, we can't do communicate with foreigners.
My third reason is when we don't learn English, it is impossible to learn another subject. That is because there are so many English is in at our subjects.
Finally, when we have mastered this English, we have so much money from the government.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Joey!   The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Good job!  

Please take note of the corrections. 


- Teacher Debbie

I think learning English is important.
>> This is a good sentence.

That is because when we don't learn English, we failed at the entrance exam.
>> That is because when we don't learn English, we will fail an entrance exam.

My second reason is when we don't learn English, we can't do communicate with foreigners.
>> Moreover, we won't be able to communicate with foreigners.

My third reason is when we don't learn English, it is impossible to learn another subject. 
>> When we don't learn English, it will be impossible to learn another subject. 

That is because there are so many English is in at our subjects.
>> That is because there are so many English words in other subjects.

Finally, when we have mastered this English, we have so much money from the government.
>> When we have mastered English, we can get so much money from the government.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115856 What is your favorite movie? Why? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 366
115855 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 592
115854 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 501
115853 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115852 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 767
115851 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115850 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 663
115849 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115848 ESSAY: Explain this quote: No Man Is An Island Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 549
115847 Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 417
115846 HOMEWORK ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 570
115845 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 262
115844 The upset ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115843 Discrimination ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 696
115842 Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 626
115841 Why kids are not should be read news. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 457
115840 ESSAY: Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1205
115839 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115838 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115837 writing È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04