¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why I think learning English is important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2022-02-20 914

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think learning English is important.
That is because when we don't learn English, we failed at the entrance exam.
My second reason is when we don't learn English, we can't do communicate with foreigners.
My third reason is when we don't learn English, it is impossible to learn another subject. That is because there are so many English is in at our subjects.
Finally, when we have mastered this English, we have so much money from the government.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Joey!   The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Good job!  

Please take note of the corrections. 


- Teacher Debbie

I think learning English is important.
>> This is a good sentence.

That is because when we don't learn English, we failed at the entrance exam.
>> That is because when we don't learn English, we will fail an entrance exam.

My second reason is when we don't learn English, we can't do communicate with foreigners.
>> Moreover, we won't be able to communicate with foreigners.

My third reason is when we don't learn English, it is impossible to learn another subject. 
>> When we don't learn English, it will be impossible to learn another subject. 

That is because there are so many English is in at our subjects.
>> That is because there are so many English words in other subjects.

Finally, when we have mastered this English, we have so much money from the government.
>> When we have mastered English, we can get so much money from the government.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114404 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 356
114403 Do you believe in \"good luck\" charms? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1
114402 Why do people want to explore the space? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 409
114401 What do you think is the most difficult thing about being a... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 0
114400 Do young men also have body image problems? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 391
114399 Which is better, borrowing or lending stuff? Explain your... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 531
114398 How I take my grandma ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 496
114397 Life without holidays will be awful ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 319
114396 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1041
114395 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 546
114394 Was this year better or worse than last year? How come? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114393 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114392 Family is more important than friends. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114391 What do you and your family usually do during Christmas? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114390 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 851
114389 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 529
114388 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 518
114387 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 908
114386 Presentation script related to my work-2 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114385 Presentation script related to my work-1 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04