¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst invention ever and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-02-21 864

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the worst invention is smartphone because it makes children be addicted. Of course, smartphone is surprising invention, but it has a side effect. Due to it, while people eat a meal, they watch videos. Also, some children fight with their parents, because of smartphone. Like these, smartphone is the worst invention, but if we make a rule to use smartphone, we will use smartphones wisely. I hope that we can use our great smartphones wisely.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly :)

Using too much of something is never good. Smartphone are great inventions but there should be limitations to it indeed. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think that the worst invention is smartphone because it makes children be addicted. 
>> I think that the worst invention is smartphone because it makes children addicted to using it.

Of course, smartphone is surprising invention, but it has a side effect. 
>> Of course, smartphone are great inventions, but they cause some side effects to us. 

Due to it, while people eat a meal, they watch videos. 
>> People still watch videos on their phones even when they are eating. 

Also, some children fight with their parents, because of smartphone. 
>> Also, some children fight with their parents because of smartphone. 

Like these, smartphone is the worst invention, but if we make a rule to use smartphone, we will use smartphones wisely. 
>> Because of these reasons, I think that smartphones are the worst inventions. But if we limit the usage of it, we can use it wisely. 

I hope that we can use our great smartphones wisely.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115758 which chores do you not like to do Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 992
115757 My goal ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 2
115756 HOMEWORK: What kind of people annoy you? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 3
115755 Homework(1/20) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115754 HOMEWORK : What are some of the andvantages and disadvantages of... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 3
115753 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 2
115752 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1033
115751 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1165
115750 > What cartoon shows are popular in your country? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 504
115749 Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 963
115748 What other things do you need for you to study English? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 927
115747 Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1413
115746 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115745 How does this pandemic change your birthday celebration? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115744 Is there a kind of drama that you will never watch? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 2
115743 What made Barbara sick, if she just went to a birthday party? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1254
115742 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115741 What critical feedback do you most often receive? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 944
115740  What do you think is the worst thing about being in the... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 871
115739 What do you think of renting clothes and toys? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 834

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04