¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst invention ever and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-21 646

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst invention ever.
I can't know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are killing one another with those weapons.
Because of these things, people who don't have any faults are dying.
And we shouldn't make these kinds of circumstances.
That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention to the humans.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

I heard from one of my students that the inventor of bombs didn't intend to make it to kill other people, but to use it for mining. So, there are different  usages for these weapons but people use it for violence. Many innocent people are greatly  affected by this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst invention ever.
>>In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst inventions ever.

I can't know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are killing one another with those weapons.
>> I know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are using it to kill one another. 

Because of these things, people who don't have any faults are dying.
>> Because of these things, many people become victims. 

And we shouldn't make these kinds of circumstances.
>> CORRECT

That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention to the humans.
>> That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention by humans.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115390 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 731
115389 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 997
115388 If you had grown up in a different city, how would your life... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 886
115387 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1254
115386 Parents should intervene to children\'s shopping ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1168
115385 What was the most difficult time of your life? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1674
115384 What is your greatest accomplishment? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1042
115383 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 594
115382 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1110
115381 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 642
115380 Homework~~~^^ °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 604
115379 What genre of book do you enjoy most? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 439
115378 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1187
115377 Is there someone in this room you¡¯re thankful for? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 2
115376 What can transform a person\'s business to a higher level? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1596
115375 homework Àü*¾÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 408
115374 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 0
115373 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1
115372 What would you do if you could no longer contact the person who... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 602
115371 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04