¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My exercise

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*³ª
2022-02-22 996

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like exercise. My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
Third is skating(on the ground). Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi Hanna,
We need to exercise because exercise helps people lose weight and lower the risk of some diseases. Exercising regularly lowers a person's risk of developing some diseases, including obesity, type 2 diabetes, and high blood pressure. Exercise also can help keep your body at a healthy weight. Exercise can help a person age well. ~ Teacher QUENNY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like exercise. 
>>I like to exercise. 
My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. 
>> My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. 
When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. 
>>  When I am walking while listening to music, It makes me comfortable, gives me confidence, and runs too. 
If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
>> Running while listening to music release my stress. 
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. 
>> And my second favorite exercise is the jump rope. 
Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
>> Jump rope loses weight but it is really hard because it takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
>> I prefer to do jump rope for losing weight.
Third is skating(on the ground). 
>> The third is skating on the ground. 
Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. 
>> Skating refreshes me and it's fast. 
It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.
>> Skating makes me happy but I need to be very careful because I might bump other people and if I fall down, I will get seriously hurt, so I have to wear a helmet and some protective gear. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I like exercise. My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
Third is skating(on the ground). Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116020 When was the last time you achieved a goal? How did you feel? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 872
116019 Which beverages do you think are the most popular in the world... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 1118
116018 Which is better: to complain or not to complain? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 925
116017 Have a weekend!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 1170
116016 How do you feel and what happens to you when you don\'t get... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 574
116015 The first time that my father touched my shoulder ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 428
116014 Talk about your best memory from a holiday ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 1
116013 What do you think is interesting about your culture? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 0
116012 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 818
116011 Essay (Jan 28th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 707
116010 ielts task 1 ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 731
116009 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 378
116008 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 446
116007 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 589
116006 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 485
116005 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 350
116004 What motivates you to keep working? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 797
116003 Is it important to have a goal? Why or why not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 549
116002 Food chain boosts profile on back of BTS member\'s... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0
116001 More people turn to lady luck amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04