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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My exercise

작성자: 이*나
2022-02-22 1009

회원님의 영작문

I like exercise. My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
Third is skating(on the ground). Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Hanna,
We need to exercise because exercise helps people lose weight and lower the risk of some diseases. Exercising regularly lowers a person's risk of developing some diseases, including obesity, type 2 diabetes, and high blood pressure. Exercise also can help keep your body at a healthy weight. Exercise can help a person age well. ~ Teacher QUENNY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like exercise. 
>>I like to exercise. 
My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. 
>> My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. 
When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. 
>>  When I am walking while listening to music, It makes me comfortable, gives me confidence, and runs too. 
If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
>> Running while listening to music release my stress. 
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. 
>> And my second favorite exercise is the jump rope. 
Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
>> Jump rope loses weight but it is really hard because it takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
>> I prefer to do jump rope for losing weight.
Third is skating(on the ground). 
>> The third is skating on the ground. 
Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. 
>> Skating refreshes me and it's fast. 
It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.
>> Skating makes me happy but I need to be very careful because I might bump other people and if I fall down, I will get seriously hurt, so I have to wear a helmet and some protective gear. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I like exercise. My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
Third is skating(on the ground). Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.
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