¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My exercise

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*³ª
2022-02-22 1063

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like exercise. My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
Third is skating(on the ground). Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi Hanna,
We need to exercise because exercise helps people lose weight and lower the risk of some diseases. Exercising regularly lowers a person's risk of developing some diseases, including obesity, type 2 diabetes, and high blood pressure. Exercise also can help keep your body at a healthy weight. Exercise can help a person age well. ~ Teacher QUENNY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like exercise. 
>>I like to exercise. 
My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. 
>> My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. 
When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. 
>>  When I am walking while listening to music, It makes me comfortable, gives me confidence, and runs too. 
If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
>> Running while listening to music release my stress. 
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. 
>> And my second favorite exercise is the jump rope. 
Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
>> Jump rope loses weight but it is really hard because it takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
>> I prefer to do jump rope for losing weight.
Third is skating(on the ground). 
>> The third is skating on the ground. 
Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. 
>> Skating refreshes me and it's fast. 
It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.
>> Skating makes me happy but I need to be very careful because I might bump other people and if I fall down, I will get seriously hurt, so I have to wear a helmet and some protective gear. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I like exercise. My favorite exercise is walking while listening to music. When I am walking while listening to music, It made me comfortable and have confident. and running too. If i run while listening to music, my stress will go away.
And my second favorite exercise is jump rope. Jump rope makes to lose weights but it is really hard and takes a lot of energy.
I prefer jump rope for losing weights.
Third is skating(on the ground). Skating makes me refreshing. and it's fast. It makes me happy. but be careful because it can bump into people, and if I fell down, i will get seriously hurt, so i have to wear a helmet.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115430 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 392
115429 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 562
115428 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 718
115427 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 375
115426 What is your favorite Korean traditional game and why? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115425 Esaay (Jan, 7th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1412
115424 Lucky ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115423 How can students prevent stress from staying at home due to... Á¶*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 834
115422 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 467
115421 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115420 What motivates you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 394
115419 ESSAY: Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 591
115418 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 2
115417 What traditions do you have in your country in welcoming a new... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 833
115416 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 4
115415 Is vaccine pass justifed? Seould court has doubts À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115414 sudsidy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 833
115413 Describe your ideal house. How does it look like? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 543
115412 What do you think is the top 3 food that can be best eaten... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 680
115411 Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women.... ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04