¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Know what I want to do

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-24 862

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
That is most important thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Yes, we should pursue our dreams. Eventually it will all be worth it. There's actually a saying that if you love doing something, you will never work a single day in your life again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
>> Many adults usually talk to the youth about employment. The most important thing to consider is whether it is stable. 

I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
>> I think that looking for a stable company is a good thing. 

But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
>> But in my personal opinion, I want to do what I want to do. 

That is most important thing.
>> That is the most important thing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116707 2/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 2249
116706 coffee shops ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 3
116705 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 2
116704 What is your idea of the best travel experience? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 725
116703 What do you think is the worst invention ever and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 0
116702 My electronic device ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1022
116701 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 942
116700 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1056
116699 Do you think school uniforms make social differences smaller? Do... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 818
116698 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1507
116697 Action movies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 3
116696 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 864
116695 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 924
116694 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 579
116693 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 601
116692 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1
116691 What is your favorite English movie and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 942
116690 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1645
116689 What K-pop song would you recommend to someone who is not a... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 508
116688 Feb 22th, 2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 397

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04