¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Know what I want to do

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-24 929

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
That is most important thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Yes, we should pursue our dreams. Eventually it will all be worth it. There's actually a saying that if you love doing something, you will never work a single day in your life again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
>> Many adults usually talk to the youth about employment. The most important thing to consider is whether it is stable. 

I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
>> I think that looking for a stable company is a good thing. 

But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
>> But in my personal opinion, I want to do what I want to do. 

That is most important thing.
>> That is the most important thing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116169 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 427
116168 Abroad ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 4
116167 Which do you think is better to rent or to buy a property? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 3
116166 Do you become impatient when you have to wait in a long line? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 669
116165 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 766
116164 Writing Essay ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1523
116163 Why kids should follow the school rules. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 656
116162 If robots really did take over all (or most) jobs, what do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1119
116161 online ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1000
116160 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116159 My first vocal lesson ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1239
116158 expression correct ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116157 2022.2.7 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 603
116156 2022.2.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 618
116155 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 760
116154 What will you buy for your family once you started earning your... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 980
116153 Writing Task (Feb 7th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 724
116152 Why are exams important? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 2
116151 What is the best lesson you have learned from one of your... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 818
116150 2/7 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 618

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04