¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Thursday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-02-24 847

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some good things or bad things about having a computer?
A:The good thing is that people can get infromation fastly, and the bad thing is people could be addiction to computer.
Before, when people didn't invented computer people should get information at the library, and it takes so long time, but not now.
But, nowadays many people are addiction to computer, so their eyes would be not good and they could be lazy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The good thing is that people can get infromation fastly, and the bad thing is people could be addiction to computer.

>> The good thing is that people can get information quickly, and the bad thing is that people could become addicted to a computer.
Before, when people didn't invented computer people should get information at the library, and it takes so long time, but not now.

>> Before the computer has been invented, people get information at the library and it takes a long time to get it, but not anymore now.
But, nowadays many people are addiction to computer, so their eyes would be not good and they could be lazy.

>> Nowadays, many people are addicted to the computer, it has a bad effect on their eyes and they tend to become lazy.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117417 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 278
117416 Favorite book character ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 734
117415 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 314
117414 What do you do to avoid catching COVID-19? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 575
117413 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-03-16 517
117412 About computers controlling the house. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 277
117411 Losting My Dream Lense ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 296
117410 Do you think you have enough time to do the things you want to... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 645
117409 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117408 Food makes my family happy. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 292
117407 What weakness in the past that you already overcame? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 289
117406 How do you handle stress? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 598
117405 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 1
117404 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117403 What part of your culture are you most proud of? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 0
117402 Answer to \\ ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117401 Was there any part of the BTS concert that you didn\'t like? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117400 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 0
117399 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 453
117398 What do you usually do when your daughter is sick or is hurt? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04