¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Thursday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-02-24 978

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some good things or bad things about having a computer?
A:The good thing is that people can get infromation fastly, and the bad thing is people could be addiction to computer.
Before, when people didn't invented computer people should get information at the library, and it takes so long time, but not now.
But, nowadays many people are addiction to computer, so their eyes would be not good and they could be lazy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The good thing is that people can get infromation fastly, and the bad thing is people could be addiction to computer.

>> The good thing is that people can get information quickly, and the bad thing is that people could become addicted to a computer.
Before, when people didn't invented computer people should get information at the library, and it takes so long time, but not now.

>> Before the computer has been invented, people get information at the library and it takes a long time to get it, but not anymore now.
But, nowadays many people are addiction to computer, so their eyes would be not good and they could be lazy.

>> Nowadays, many people are addicted to the computer, it has a bad effect on their eyes and they tend to become lazy.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115770 Automatically read my mind ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1484
115769 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 0
115768 Essay (Jan 20th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 736
115767 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1886
115766 what do you do to improve? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 3
115765 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1433
115764 What do you think is the most important thing to make a happy... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1247
115763 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115762 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115761 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 771
115760 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 975
115759 When people from other countries think about your culture, what... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1120
115758 which chores do you not like to do Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 951
115757 My goal ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 2
115756 HOMEWORK: What kind of people annoy you? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 3
115755 Homework(1/20) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115754 HOMEWORK : What are some of the andvantages and disadvantages of... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 3
115753 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 2
115752 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 983
115751 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1110

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04