¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Thursday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-02-24 1002

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some good things or bad things about having a computer?
A:The good thing is that people can get infromation fastly, and the bad thing is people could be addiction to computer.
Before, when people didn't invented computer people should get information at the library, and it takes so long time, but not now.
But, nowadays many people are addiction to computer, so their eyes would be not good and they could be lazy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The good thing is that people can get infromation fastly, and the bad thing is people could be addiction to computer.

>> The good thing is that people can get information quickly, and the bad thing is that people could become addicted to a computer.
Before, when people didn't invented computer people should get information at the library, and it takes so long time, but not now.

>> Before the computer has been invented, people get information at the library and it takes a long time to get it, but not anymore now.
But, nowadays many people are addiction to computer, so their eyes would be not good and they could be lazy.

>> Nowadays, many people are addicted to the computer, it has a bad effect on their eyes and they tend to become lazy.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115444 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1621
115443 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 468
115442 What sports I play with my friends. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 342
115441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 536
115440 My best uncle ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 557
115439 My famous park ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 290
115438 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 680
115437 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 549
115436 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 0
115435 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 0
115434 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 2
115433 E-Reading Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 277
115432 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 473
115431 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 385
115430 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 362
115429 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 532
115428 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 675
115427 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 359
115426 What is your favorite Korean traditional game and why? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115425 Esaay (Jan, 7th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1393

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04