¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could give advice to Korea\'s next president, what would it be?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-02-24 1250

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I could give advice to the next president, I strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions. I hope they don't mistake people for knowing nothing.Some previous president tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media that he could accumulated a lot of money through corruption. However, behold how their ends were! Were they happy? Were they loved by people? Absolutely not! All the evils that they tried to hide were revealed. Their dignity as a former president fell to the ground. This new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors. He should try to communicate with people. He shouldn't fall into arrogance that he can do anything. He has to pick the right aids and trust them.
The new president will know what to do during his term. but it's more important to put it into practice than to know, and it's easier said than done. We will often need to help him practice his plan because Korea is the country that we make together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! You were able to construct sentences with proper grammar. Keep writing!

- Debbie

If I could give advice to the next president, I strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions.
>> If I could give advice to the next president, I would strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions.

I hope they don't mistake people for knowing nothing.
>> I hope he doesn't mistake people for not knowing anything.

Some previous president tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media that he could accumulated a lot of money through corruption. 
>>  Some former presidents tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media so they could accumulate a lot of money through corruption. 

However, behold how their ends were! 
>> However, look where they ended up.

Were they happy? 
>> This is a good sentence.

Were they loved by people? 
>> This is a good sentence.

Absolutely not! 
>> Good!

All the evils that they tried to hide were revealed. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Their dignity as a former president fell to the ground. 
>> They lost their dignity. 

This new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors. 
>> The new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors.

He should try to communicate with people. 
>> This is a good sentence.

He shouldn't fall into arrogance that he can do anything.
>> He shouldn't be arrogant and think that he can do anything.

 He has to pick the right aids and trust them.
>> This is a good sentence.

The new president will know what to do during his term. 
>> A new president knows what to do during his term.

but it's more important to put it into practice than to know, and it's easier said than done. 
>> However, knowing how to do something is more important. 

We will often need to help him practice his plan because Korea is the country that we make together.
>> The citizens will often need to help him put his plan into action because we are one in Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117995 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 2
117994 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 356
117993 What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 2
117992 2022.4.1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 616
117991 2022.4.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 578
117990 Why do some children become violent when they are angry? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 4
117989 Homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 1
117988 What is the top crime in your country today? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 2
117987 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 985
117986 Do you think you are now successful, or still unsuccessful? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 452
117985 What is your opinion about people who have tattoos? Would you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 544
117984 Why I like the stars more than the sun. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 504
117983 Why are some sports fans so passionate? : 1. under a lot of... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 2
117982 What I did when I go to supermarket last weekend. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 568
117981 Why I think homework is important ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 611
117980 Writing Task (Apr 4th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 826
117979 4/4 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 505
117978 Tattoo ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 664
117977 Do you always make specific plans on weekends? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 608
117976 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04