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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Re:Turn - Ash Wednesday Sermon 3

작성자: 류*선
2022-03-02 870

회원님의 영작문

When ashes were imposed on our foreheads, we remember our mortal body will go back to its origin. As we remember the death of Jesus, we receive the ashes.
What about our spirit?
Whatever happens in our mortal body, nothing can separate us from God. We will return to the Lord, God. Amen?
During this Lenten season, God is waiting for us. God wants us to return to him. Because God would love to have an intimate relationship with us since He loves us.
To return to God, what we have to do first is that we stop what we are doing now. We stop and focus on God. We Focus on God with prayer and fasting. We Focus on God with self-discipline. We focus on God with self-examination. We focus on God by giving up something that we love. We focus on God by giving up our favorite things.
So that we are able to return to God. Returning to God is self-denial and self-emptying. Jesus tried to return to God by giving himself up with prayer and fasting for 40 days in the wilderness.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Han! This is such a powerful sermon. May Christ's Name be lifted up! God bless us!-Faith-
When ashes were imposed on our foreheads, we remember our mortal body will go back to its origin. 
>> When ashes were imposed on our foreheads, we remembered that our mortal body would go back to its origin. 
OR The ashes that are placed on our foreheads remind us that what comes from dust returns to dust.
As we remember the death of Jesus, we receive the ashes.
>> CORRECT
OR Likewise, as we remember the death of Jesus, we receive the ashes.
What about our spirit?
>> CORRECT
Whatever happens in our mortal body, nothing can separate us from God. 
>> Whatever happens to our mortal body, we should remember the fact that nothing can separate us from God. 
We will return to the Lord, God. 
>> We will return to the Lord our God. 
Amen?
>> CORRECT
OR Can we say 'Amen' to that?
During this Lenten season, God is waiting for us. 
>> CORRECT
OR During this Lenten season, God is patiently and lovingly waiting for us. 
God wants us to return to him. 
>> CORRECT
OR His invitation before, today and tomorrow will always be the same and that is to see His children return to Him.
Because God would love to have an intimate relationship with us since He loves us.
>> It is because God would love to have an intimate relationship with us because He loves us.
OR It is because God longs to have an intimate relationship with us because of His great love for us.
To return to God, what we have to do first is that we stop what we are doing now. 
>> CORRECT
OR To return to God, we must first cease what we are doing now. 
We stop and focus on God. 
>> We must stop and focus on God. 
We Focus on God with prayer and fasting. 
>> CORRECT
We Focus on God with self-discipline. 
>> CORRECT
We focus on God with self-examination. 
>> CORRECT
We focus on God by giving up something that we love. 
>> CORRECT
We focus on God by giving up our favorite things. So that we are able to return to God.
>> We focus on God by giving up our favorite things, so that we will be able to return to God.
Returning to God is self-denial and self-emptying. 
>> CORRECT
OR Returning to God is dying to self.
Jesus tried to return to God by giving himself up with prayer and fasting for 40 days in the wilderness.
>> Jesus tried to return to God by giving Himself up with prayer and fasting for 40 days in the wilderness.
OR Jesus is the Great example, He tried to return to God by giving Himself up with prayer and fasting for 40 days in the wilderness.
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