¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why didn\'t I do the right thing?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-02 380

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I have found something that isn¡¯t mine. One case, long time ago, I got a phone at a bench in a subway station. At that time, I brought the phone to the station office. you know a phone is very expensive and has lots of information about someone. I think almost people did like me in korea.

Another case I talk when I walked alone the path in a forest lots years ago. I found money, maybe twenty dollars. I thought I could not find the real owner. so I put the money in my wallet, and then I used that for myself. I knew that was not the right thing to do.

What is different? I think there are easily two questions. one is that I can find the real owner or not. the other is that my efforts for finding the owner is worth more than that thing or not.

Anyway, I know if I find something that isn¡¯t mine, I should look for the real owner. If I can¡¯t, I should bring that to the Lost and Found Center. and then we have to be careful not to lose something.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

Wow! This homework is awesome! As you can see, there were a lot of great sentences on this one! I can see that your last mistakes were gone!
Thank you so much for following my corrections, your essay is so much now! Please observe that you should capitalize the proper names like "Korea" and the beginning of the sentences. 

I am so happy, thank you! I can see a great improvement. 
-Teacher Violet.

Yes, I have found something that isn¡¯t mine. 
>> CORRECT!

One case, long time ago, I got a phone at a bench in a subway station. 
>> One case, a long time ago, I got a phone at a bench in a subway station. 

At that time, I brought the phone to the station office. 
>> CORRECT!

you know a phone is very expensive and has lots of information about someone. 
>> You know a phone is very expensive and has lots of information about someone. 
OR >> >> You know a phone is very expensive and has lots of information about the owner.

I think almost people did like me in korea.
>> I think most people did like me, in Korea.
OR>> I think most people in Korea did like me.
OR>> I think most Koreans did like me.

Another case I talk when I walked alone the path in a forest lots years ago. 
>> Another case, was when I talked while walking alone on a forest path (lots of) years ago. 

I found money, maybe twenty dollars. 
>> CORRECT!

I thought I could not find the real owner. so I put the money in my wallet, and then I used that for myself. 
>> CORRECT!

I knew that was not the right thing to do.
>> CORRECT!

What is different? 
>> CORRECT!

I think there are easily two questions. 
>> CORRECT!

one is that I can find the real owner or not. the other is that my efforts for finding the owner is worth more than that thing or not.
>> The first is whether I can find the real owner or not and the other is whether my effort for finding the owner is worth more than that thing or not.

Anyway, I know if I find something that isn¡¯t mine, I should look for the real owner. 
>> CORRECT!

If I can¡¯t, I should bring that to the Lost and Found Center. 
>> CORRECT!

and then we have to be careful not to lose something.
>> Finally, we have 
to be careful not to lose something. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118928 52/1212 H2O2M2E2W2O2R2K2 ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 341
118927 What\'s your favorite gadget? Please some details in the next... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 392
118926 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 1
118925 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 2
118924 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 1
118923 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 2
118922 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 0
118921 Does class size affect students¡¯ learning? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 0
118920 What are the advantages and disadvantages of being bilingual? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 446
118919 Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 1
118918 Do you have a friend that you haven\'t seen for a long time?... ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 401
118917 What is the strangest food you have ever tried? Tell me about it. ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 385
118916 What do you think about extreme sports? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 438
118915 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 427
118914 The good news ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 3
118913 Can goals help to change your life? How? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 416
118912 I wish live with my grandmother ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 368
118911 What do you think is the hardest job in the world? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 372
118910 Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 0
118909 Korean chicken ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 300

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04