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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

We should go to school

작성자: 김*우
2022-03-02 1070

회원님의 영작문

In my opinion, homeschooling has lots of advantages and disadvantages, too. First the advantages are studying freely, and not to be in school violence. We can study freely and we can find the best way to study. Studying alone is very important for our lives. Sometimes we can feel lonely, but I think it may be a travel that find ourselves out. It can help us to have a dream and work hard. In addition, we can avoid school violence by not going to school. School violence is very serious problem these days. But if we do homeschooling, we can avoid that negative situation. However, we can't improve our society ability. School is the place where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world. Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lesson about society. In conclusion, I think we should go to school, but we have to know how to study and work alone.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Daniel! You were able to make grammatically-correct sentences! Superb!  Thank you for an impressive work.

- Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, homeschooling has lots of advantages and disadvantages, too. 
>> This is a good sentence.

First the advantages are studying freely, and not to be in school violence.
>> The advantages are solitude and freedom from violence.

We can study freely and we can find the best way to study. 
>> With homeschooling, we can study alone. Moreover, we can find the best way to do it.

Studying alone is very important for our lives. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Sometimes we can feel lonely, but I think it may be a travel that find ourselves out. 
>> We might feel lonely sometimes, but I think it may be a way to find out who we are. 

It can help us to have a dream and work hard.
>> It can help us dream and work hard.

In addition, we can avoid school violence by not going to school. 
>> This is a good sentence.

School violence is very serious problem these days.
>> School violence is a very serious problem these days.

But if we do homeschooling, we can avoid that negative situation. 
>> However, if we are homeschooled, we can avoid this negative situation.

However, we can't improve our society ability.
>>  The disadvantage of homeschooling is that we can't improve our social skills.

School is the place where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world.
>> School is where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world.

Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lesson about society.
>> Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lessons about society.

In conclusion, I think we should go to school, but we have to know how to study and work alone.
>> This is a good sentence.
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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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