¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

We should go to school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-03-02 1274

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, homeschooling has lots of advantages and disadvantages, too. First the advantages are studying freely, and not to be in school violence. We can study freely and we can find the best way to study. Studying alone is very important for our lives. Sometimes we can feel lonely, but I think it may be a travel that find ourselves out. It can help us to have a dream and work hard. In addition, we can avoid school violence by not going to school. School violence is very serious problem these days. But if we do homeschooling, we can avoid that negative situation. However, we can't improve our society ability. School is the place where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world. Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lesson about society. In conclusion, I think we should go to school, but we have to know how to study and work alone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! You were able to make grammatically-correct sentences! Superb!  Thank you for an impressive work.

- Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, homeschooling has lots of advantages and disadvantages, too. 
>> This is a good sentence.

First the advantages are studying freely, and not to be in school violence.
>> The advantages are solitude and freedom from violence.

We can study freely and we can find the best way to study. 
>> With homeschooling, we can study alone. Moreover, we can find the best way to do it.

Studying alone is very important for our lives. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Sometimes we can feel lonely, but I think it may be a travel that find ourselves out. 
>> We might feel lonely sometimes, but I think it may be a way to find out who we are. 

It can help us to have a dream and work hard.
>> It can help us dream and work hard.

In addition, we can avoid school violence by not going to school. 
>> This is a good sentence.

School violence is very serious problem these days.
>> School violence is a very serious problem these days.

But if we do homeschooling, we can avoid that negative situation. 
>> However, if we are homeschooled, we can avoid this negative situation.

However, we can't improve our society ability.
>>  The disadvantage of homeschooling is that we can't improve our social skills.

School is the place where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world.
>> School is where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world.

Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lesson about society.
>> Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lessons about society.

In conclusion, I think we should go to school, but we have to know how to study and work alone.
>> This is a good sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116609 Regarding the management of English proficiency scores for... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 7
116608 If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would you... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 4
116607 mock interview questions È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 2
116606 What would you do if a customer verbally abuses you in front of... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 800
116605 What steps do you utilize to deal with problems at work? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 883
116604 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 1
116603 I\\\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 693
116602 Do you think you eat a well-balanced diet? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 4
116601 My favorite movie ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 2
116600 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 474
116599 Is it better to be a boss or an employee? Why? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 686
116598 Philip Morris Korea\'s new parental leave policy respects all... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 1
116597 I love my books. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 1
116596 Writing Task(Feb 18th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 394
116595 Writing Task(Feb 17th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 666
116594 Writing Task(Feb 16th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 558
116593 Writing Task(Feb 14th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 581
116592 What do you think is the best invention ever and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-19 1065
116591 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 1
116590 Hello! Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 585

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04