¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

We should go to school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-03-02 1345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, homeschooling has lots of advantages and disadvantages, too. First the advantages are studying freely, and not to be in school violence. We can study freely and we can find the best way to study. Studying alone is very important for our lives. Sometimes we can feel lonely, but I think it may be a travel that find ourselves out. It can help us to have a dream and work hard. In addition, we can avoid school violence by not going to school. School violence is very serious problem these days. But if we do homeschooling, we can avoid that negative situation. However, we can't improve our society ability. School is the place where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world. Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lesson about society. In conclusion, I think we should go to school, but we have to know how to study and work alone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! You were able to make grammatically-correct sentences! Superb!  Thank you for an impressive work.

- Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, homeschooling has lots of advantages and disadvantages, too. 
>> This is a good sentence.

First the advantages are studying freely, and not to be in school violence.
>> The advantages are solitude and freedom from violence.

We can study freely and we can find the best way to study. 
>> With homeschooling, we can study alone. Moreover, we can find the best way to do it.

Studying alone is very important for our lives. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Sometimes we can feel lonely, but I think it may be a travel that find ourselves out. 
>> We might feel lonely sometimes, but I think it may be a way to find out who we are. 

It can help us to have a dream and work hard.
>> It can help us dream and work hard.

In addition, we can avoid school violence by not going to school. 
>> This is a good sentence.

School violence is very serious problem these days.
>> School violence is a very serious problem these days.

But if we do homeschooling, we can avoid that negative situation. 
>> However, if we are homeschooled, we can avoid this negative situation.

However, we can't improve our society ability.
>>  The disadvantage of homeschooling is that we can't improve our social skills.

School is the place where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world.
>> School is where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world.

Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lesson about society.
>> Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lessons about society.

In conclusion, I think we should go to school, but we have to know how to study and work alone.
>> This is a good sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115814 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 1
115813 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 1
115812 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 0
115811 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1549
115810 Do you like meeting new people? ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 2
115809 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 857
115808 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 683
115807 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 804
115806 We have to protect animals because of ecosystem ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 566
115805 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 688
115804 My second day. ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1069
115803 Can music influence your behavior? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 989
115802 How do you feel about making choices for other people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1053
115801 what kind of art do you like the most? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1
115800 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 311
115799 What does this saying mean, \"blood is thicker than water\"? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 539
115798 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1268
115797 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 2
115796 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 2
115795 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 780

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04