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Kids\' jobs is studying students

작성자: 김*우
2022-03-04 471

회원님의 영작문

In my opinion, receiving the money when kids do their chores is not a good idea. There are two reasons why I think so.
Fist, kids can recognize chores incorrectly. Frankly, kids have to help their parents by doing chores. But these days, most of the kids don't do any chores. Then, they may think that, if we do chores or any works, we must receive a reward. It says that this makes kids to 'The people who don't know kindness', and they may always say that, 'If you want anything to me, then give me money.' When they become adult, then lots of people can criticize them to bad people.
Second, kids can think that chores is their job. If parents give them lots of money, then young kids can understand it to very good job. And, it is not an investing for the kids' futures. They can use this money to useless thing, and studying harder is much better than doing chores harder. So, I think parents give kids money when they study a lot.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

 Hi, Daniel! Thank you for doing your homework.  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. Superb! However, you have to be careful with sentence construction. Take note of the corrections below.


- Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, receiving the money when kids do their chores is not a good idea.
>> In my opinion, it is not a good idea to pay kids for doing chores.

There are two reasons why I think so.
>> There are two reasons why I think so. 

Fist, kids can recognize chores incorrectly. 
>> First, this can make kids misunderstand what chores are.

Frankly, kids have to help their parents by doing chores. 
>> This is a good sentence.

But these days, most of the kids don't do any chores. 
>> However, most of the kids these days don't do any housework.

Then, they may think that, if we do chores or any works, we must receive a reward. 
>> If they do, they may think that they must receive rewards.

It says that this makes kids to 'The people who don't know kindness', and they may always say that, 'If you want anything to me, then give me money.' 
>> If this is the case, they won't know what kindness is. They may always say, "If you want me to do something, then give me money."

When they become adult, then lots of people can criticize them to bad people.
>> When they become adults, lots of people might think they're terrible.

Second, kids can think that chores is their job. 
>> Second, kids might think that doing chores can be a means of earning a living. 

If parents give them lots of money, then young kids can understand it to very good job. 
>> If their parents give them lots of money, they might think it is an excellent job. 

And, it is not an investing for the kids' futures.
>> This cannot be good for their future.

 They can use this money to useless thing, and studying harder is much better than doing chores harder. 
>>  They can use this money to buy useless things.

 and studying harder is much better than doing chores harder. 
>> In my opinion, studying harder is much better than doing a lot of chores.

So, I think parents give kids money when they study a lot.
>>  Therefore, I think parents should give their kids money when they study a lot.
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