¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What can you say about people who often miss deadlines?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-03-04 880

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, I think everyone has his or her working style. Some people can concentrate on their work more easily at night, and other people do in the morning. Some people like to work enjoying music loudly, and other people like to work silently. Everyone has different working styles. What I want to say is how fast they finish their work can be also one of their habits. Therefore, I think if someone often misses the deadline, or if someone often beats the deadline, they all can be related to his or her habits.

Here is my advice for them. First, try to make a good habit, such as beating the deadline or getting up early in the morning. And keep in mind that habits create personality and personality determines fate. Fixing your bad habits is worthwhile for your whole successful life.

Besides, If you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. Let's not get reprimanded for being late after you had had a hard time finishing it. It's like adding insult to the injury.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Steve! 

Another profound entry from you!  I was really excited to ask you this question after our lesson. I knew you would probably drop some proverbs and useful advice and I was right! Thank you so much for your effort.

For the corrections, technically, there is only one correction, which is the third to the las sentence, where the capitalization of "IF" was wrong. That was a very minor error! But of course, it is best to avoid the small errors next time. For the first sentence,  semantically speaking, it is correct. But I think the syntax was missing a bit of meaning, so I suggested adding "own", so it will be "his or her own working style". That's what you meant, right? (I do hope so )  The second was also just a suggestion for better word choice. Your sentence was already good, but since your English level is quite high, I think you would like to add "the rate at which" to your set of expressions as well! I will be very happy to her you use it next time. It can really add to your fluency.

Again, thank you so much! I enjoyed reading your entry, and I look forward to your next composition.

Keep it up!
-Teacher Violet.
 

Well, I think everyone has his or her working style. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> Well, I think everyone has his or her own working style. 

Some people can concentrate on their work more easily at night, and other people do in the morning. 
>> CORRECT!

Some people like to work enjoying music loudly, and other people like to work silently.
>> CORRECT!

Everyone has different working styles.
>> CORRECT!

           What I want to say is how fast they finish their work can be also one of their habits. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> What I want to say is the rate at which they finish their work can be also one of their habits. 

Therefore, I think if someone often misses the deadline, or if someone often beats the deadline, they all can be related to his or her habits.
>> CORRECT!

Here is my advice for them.
>> CORRECT!

First, try to make a good habit, such as beating the deadline or getting up early in the morning. 
>> CORRECT!

And keep in mind that habits create personality and personality determines fate. 
>> CORRECT!

Fixing your bad habits is worthwhile for your whole successful life.
>> CORRECT!

Besides, If you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. 
>> Besides, if you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. 

Let's not get reprimanded for being late after you had had a hard time finishing it. 
>> CORRECT!

It's like adding insult to the injury.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118046 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118045 Where is the most amazing place you have been? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 637
118044 The Social Norms ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118043 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 522
118042 Do you think people feel different when they wear different... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118041 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 684
118040 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 645
118039 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118038 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 0
118037 What is your opinion about people who have tattoos? Would you... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 0
118036 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 5
118035 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 541
118034 Is travel education? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 471
118033 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 481
118032 Should governments allow people to drink products that make... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1385
118031 Do you think it would be harder to live with a physical... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 656
118030 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 539
118029 Fashion is important thing ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 813
118028 My Favorite Thing about Myself ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1098
118027 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04