¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What can you say about people who often miss deadlines?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-03-04 671

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, I think everyone has his or her working style. Some people can concentrate on their work more easily at night, and other people do in the morning. Some people like to work enjoying music loudly, and other people like to work silently. Everyone has different working styles. What I want to say is how fast they finish their work can be also one of their habits. Therefore, I think if someone often misses the deadline, or if someone often beats the deadline, they all can be related to his or her habits.

Here is my advice for them. First, try to make a good habit, such as beating the deadline or getting up early in the morning. And keep in mind that habits create personality and personality determines fate. Fixing your bad habits is worthwhile for your whole successful life.

Besides, If you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. Let's not get reprimanded for being late after you had had a hard time finishing it. It's like adding insult to the injury.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Steve! 

Another profound entry from you!  I was really excited to ask you this question after our lesson. I knew you would probably drop some proverbs and useful advice and I was right! Thank you so much for your effort.

For the corrections, technically, there is only one correction, which is the third to the las sentence, where the capitalization of "IF" was wrong. That was a very minor error! But of course, it is best to avoid the small errors next time. For the first sentence,  semantically speaking, it is correct. But I think the syntax was missing a bit of meaning, so I suggested adding "own", so it will be "his or her own working style". That's what you meant, right? (I do hope so )  The second was also just a suggestion for better word choice. Your sentence was already good, but since your English level is quite high, I think you would like to add "the rate at which" to your set of expressions as well! I will be very happy to her you use it next time. It can really add to your fluency.

Again, thank you so much! I enjoyed reading your entry, and I look forward to your next composition.

Keep it up!
-Teacher Violet.
 

Well, I think everyone has his or her working style. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> Well, I think everyone has his or her own working style. 

Some people can concentrate on their work more easily at night, and other people do in the morning. 
>> CORRECT!

Some people like to work enjoying music loudly, and other people like to work silently.
>> CORRECT!

Everyone has different working styles.
>> CORRECT!

           What I want to say is how fast they finish their work can be also one of their habits. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> What I want to say is the rate at which they finish their work can be also one of their habits. 

Therefore, I think if someone often misses the deadline, or if someone often beats the deadline, they all can be related to his or her habits.
>> CORRECT!

Here is my advice for them.
>> CORRECT!

First, try to make a good habit, such as beating the deadline or getting up early in the morning. 
>> CORRECT!

And keep in mind that habits create personality and personality determines fate. 
>> CORRECT!

Fixing your bad habits is worthwhile for your whole successful life.
>> CORRECT!

Besides, If you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. 
>> Besides, if you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. 

Let's not get reprimanded for being late after you had had a hard time finishing it. 
>> CORRECT!

It's like adding insult to the injury.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116643 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 539
116642 What is your friend\'s bucket list? OR What is a common bucket... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 428
116641 What do you think is the worst invention ever and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 503
116640 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 623
116639 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 2
116638 Homework (2/18) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 0
116637 After Long Vacation ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 961
116636 Korean movies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 3
116635 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 2
116634 HOMEWORK: When did you learn to tell the time? / What are the... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 681
116633 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 719
116632 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 635
116631 If you had a lot of money, what is the first thing you\'ll buy... ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 1
116630 Is it better to be a boss or an employee? Why? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 712
116629 Is it good to borrow money? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 0
116628 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 2
116627 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 751
116626 BTS to hit the stage in South Korea for first time since COVID... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 1
116625 plant-based meat ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 629
116624 What do you think is the worst invention ever and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 649

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04