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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I\'m a passionate...

작성자: 류*선
2022-03-05 939

회원님의 영작문

I am an ordinated pastor. I majored in Theology and Christian education and I have ten years of hands-on experience in the churches in South Korea. I'm a passionate education and counselor who teach and support people. I would like to share its memorable ministry in South Korea. I worked for pregnants when I was Intern. Every Thursday, I had to prepare activities for them. For example, during the programs, pregnants listened to Christian piano music and read books together, played yoga, had delicious snacks, various activities, etc. I had eight teachers who were good helpers. When I worked for them in South Korea, I have never experienced pregnancy. So I didn't know how to deal with pregnancy. However, my teachers all were mothers. They helped me a lot. I was taught by my teachers. I realized this after I became a mother. How well I didn't know. That's why I think experience is just as important as passion!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Wow! Thank you, Jane! I was really happy reading it. You are what you are because of your personal and professional experiences. See you later!-Faith-
I am an ordinated pastor. 
>> I am an ordained pastor. 
I majored in Theology and Christian education and I have ten years of hands-on experience in the churches in South Korea. 
>> CORRECT
OR I majored in Theology and Christian education and I have extensive experience supervising churches in South Korea. 
I'm a passionate education and counselor who teach and support people. 
>> I'm a passionate educator and counselor who teach and support people. 
I would like to share its memorable ministry in South Korea. 
>> I would like to share my memorable ministry in South Korea. 
I worked for pregnants when I was Intern. 
>> I worked for pregnant women when I was an Intern. 
Every Thursday, I had to prepare activities for them. 
>> CORRECT
For example, during the programs, pregnants listened to Christian piano music and read books together, played yoga, had delicious snacks, various activities, etc. 
>> For example, during the programs, pregnant women listened to Christian piano music and read books together, played yoga, had delicious snacks, and other various activities.
I had eight teachers who were good helpers. 
>> CORRECT
OR I was fortunate enough to have worked with eight teachers who helped me out.
When I worked for them in South Korea, I have never experienced pregnancy. 
>> When I worked for them in South Korea, I had never experienced pregnancy. 
So I didn't know how to deal with pregnancy. 
>> So, I didn't know how to deal with pregnancy. 
However, my teachers all were mothers. 
>> CORRECT
They helped me a lot. I was taught by my teachers. 
>> They helped me a lot by teaching me many things about it.
I realized this after I became a mother. 
>> I realized how much I didn't know after I became a mother.
That's why I think experience is just as important as passion!
>> That's why, I think experience is just as important as passion!
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