¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I can\'t believe still:(

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-03-07 1148

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Please be careful to talk.
I think every cases start yo begin at mouth.
This in the war between Russia and Ukraine, only young people died.
When I first saw that news, I think just how could they do that...
Young people they don't know every thing just the war broke out at the place where they thought it was only training.
I can't believe still. Now is 2022 but people they are still same a long time ago.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!
 
I agree with you. Nothing good will come out from wars. It will not make anything better. They are just risking lives of innocent people. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Please be careful to talk.
>> We need to be careful with what we say. 

I think every cases start yo begin at mouth.
>> I think every war starts because of what people say. 

This in the war between Russia and Ukraine, only young people died.
>> Only young people died between the war or Ukraine and Russia, 

When I first saw that news, I think just how could they do that...
>> When I first saw it in the news, I was wondering how could they do such thing. 

Young people they don't know every thing just the war broke out at the place where they thought it was only training.
>> Young people don't know anything about wars since they were not trained. 

I can't believe still. Now is 2022 but people they are still same a long time ago.
>> I still can't believe it. It's already 2022 and people are still the same. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119325 5/25 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 643
119324 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2
119323 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 559
119322 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 1
119321 How about action movie? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 526
119320 Was there a time when you were misunderstood? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 567
119319 Use the expressions in your own sentences: ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 635
119318 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 557
119317 How is your day influenced by the quality of your sleep? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 672
119316 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 682
119315 Why do you think it is that many children don¡¯t like school? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 388
119314 About transportation ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 5
119313 Do you think watching TV is educational? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 699
119312 Are you a demanding person? Please explain in sentences. ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 728
119311 What do you think the deadliest disease in the world is? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2
119310 When I fight my brother. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 629
119309 Homework ¾È*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 636
119308 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 666
119307 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 468
119306 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 524

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04