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Playground

작성자: 이*나
2022-03-08 921

회원님의 영작문

When I was young, I used to play with my friends in the playground.
But now is cannot to play because I am middle school students
and I'll be a high school student soon, so I have to study hard
I sometimes play swing when I feel bad.
Swing makes me feel better.
Sadly it is not often.
If I can play in the playground with my friends, I will feel happy
But there is amusements park right now.
So, I will go an amusement park instead of playground when I want to relieve stress.
Playground is place of memories to me now.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Hanna, 
Playgrounds provide the opportunity for children to practice skills that will ultimately play a role in adult competencies such as the ability to collaborate with others, develop decision-making skills, successfully take on leadership roles, persevere in the face of distractions, and generate creative ideas. ~ Teacher QUENNY..:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was young, I used to play with my friends in the playground.
>> When I was young, I used to play with my friends in the playground.
But now is cannot to play because I am middle school students and I'll be a high school student soon, so I have to study hard.
>> But now I am a middle school student and I'll be a high school student soon, so I have to study hard and that's the reason why I can't go to the playground. 
I sometimes play swing when I feel bad.
>> I sometimes play swing when I feel bad.(CORRECT) 
Swing makes me feel better.
>> Swing makes me feel better.(CORRECT) 
Sadly it is not often.
>> Sadly I hardly or rarely go to the playground now. 
If I can play in the playground with my friends, I will feel happy
>> I'll be happy if I can play in the playground with my friends. 
But there is amusements park right now.
>> But there are Amusements Parks right now where I can more enjoy. 
So, I will go an amusement park instead of playground when I want to relieve stress.
>> So, I prefer to go to an amusement park instead of a playground when I want to relieve stress.
Playground is place of memories to me now.
>> A playground is a place of my good memories to me now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was young, I used to play with my friends in the playground.
But now is cannot to play because I am middle school students
and I'll be a high school student soon, so I have to study hard
I sometimes play swing when I feel bad.
Swing makes me feel better.
Sadly it is not often.
If I can play in the playground with my friends, I will feel happy
But there is amusements park right now.
So, I will go an amusement park instead of playground when I want to relieve stress.
Playground is place of memories to me now.
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