¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Just with my friends:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-03-09 1165

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, I'm going to invite my best friends.
And I don't want to big party, I want just small scale party with my best friend.
Because it's fun when I with my friends every time I happy and laugh.
That it's my party.
Big music, drinking alcohol, meeting new friends it's too good but not my type.
If I can prepare my self party, I'm just hang out with my friends haha:)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!
 
That's true. We don't need a lot of money to have a good time, right? It's just a matter of being with great people. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

First, I'm going to invite my best friends.
>> CORRECT

And I don't want to big party, I want just small scale party with my best friend.
>> And I don't want to have big party. I just want a small scale party with my best friends. 

Because it's fun when I with my friends every time I happy and laugh.
>> It is because it's fun. My friends make me happy and laugh. 

That it's my party.
>> That's how I will have my party. 

Big music, drinking alcohol, meeting new friends it's too good but not my type.
>> Listening to loud music, drinking alcohol, and meeting new friends can be good but not my type. 

If I can prepare my self party, I'm just hang out with my friends haha:)
>> If I can prepare my self a party, I'll just choose to hang out with my friends. Hahaha! :) 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116410 What is the best and worst thing about traveling to a new... À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 3
116409 What is one unique way we can show our love to other people? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1067
116408 2/14 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1042
116407 Homework ¼Õ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 679
116406 homework(3) Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 535
116405 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 687
116404 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 692
116403 Some people say that marriage is outdated (too old-fashioned and... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 588
116402 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 3
116401 I really appreciate god ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 879
116400 Both ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 2
116399 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 774
116398 good traveling ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 724
116397 Where do you wish to live when you are old? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 636
116396 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 441
116395 homework.4 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 705
116394 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 0
116393 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 4
116392 What are your dreams or goals in life? / What will you do to... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 837
116391 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 782

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04