¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

what kinds of social activities do you do in church?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-03-09 446

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have three social activities in the church.
First, One of the departments that I belong to is the English worship department where I work as a department accountant. Speaking of the English worship, it is the worship where foreigners feel free to attend. We have a foreign pastor. Now we have four foreign graduate students attending English worship every Sunday.
Second, I am also a Sunday School teacher to help Korean children do English worship. Our Sunday school has tried to have more children attend the English service and recruit more teachers to help them. So I got to participate in it this time.
Third, I also begin to be an AWANA teacher in March. AWANA is derived from the letters of "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" as taken from 2 Timothy. Awana is an international evangelical Christian nonprofit organization in child and youth discipleship. We are are teaching the Bible and sometimes are discussing what they read with students. It's interesting, but so demanding job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!

Thank you for sharing about your role in the church! I am amazed by your churches' concern for kids. I also agree about the work being so hard! I also feel the same, but I think it will be definitely worth it. :)

For today's corrections, nothing much! Just some typographical errors and I gave some suggestions. Your answers are always well said, so I look forward to the next one.

Great job!
-Teacher Violet

I have three social activities in the church.

>> CORRECT!

First, One of the departments that I belong to is the English worship department where I work as a department accountant. 

>> First, one of the departments that I belong to is the English worship department where I work as a department accountant.  (capitalization) 


Speaking of the English worship, it is the worship where foreigners feel free to attend. 

>> CORRECT!

We have a foreign pastor. 

>> CORRECT!

Now we have four foreign graduate students attending English worship every Sunday.

>> CORRECT!

Second, I am also a Sunday School teacher to help Korean children do English worship. 

>> CORRECT!

Our Sunday school has tried to have more children attend the English service and recruit more teachers to help them. 

>> CORRECT!

So I got to participate in it this time.

>> CORRECT!

Third, I also begin to be an AWANA teacher in March. 

>> Third, I also began to be an AWANA teacher in March.


AWANA is derived from the letters of "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" as taken from 2 Timothy. 

>> CORRECT!
OR >> AWANA is an acronym for "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" as taken from 2nd Timothy. 

Awana is an international evangelical Christian nonprofit organization in child and youth discipleship.

>> CORRECT!

We are are teaching the Bible and sometimes are discussing what they read with students. 

>> We are are teaching the Bible and sometimes are discussing what they read with students. 


It's interesting, but so demanding job.

>> It's an interesting but very demanding job.

OR >> It's interesting, but is also a very demanding job.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116757 What\'s the best birthday gift you ever received? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 428
116756 2/23 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 671
116755 If exercise makes you live a lot longer, why do so many people... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 727
116754 37.38 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 737
116753 Dreamgirls ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 473
116752 Boil eggs machine ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 450
116751 If I have someone...:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 606
116750 Do you like movie theaters or theaters? Àü*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 746
116749 The hardest decision to me ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2
116748 What do you think is the best company to work at in your country... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 916
116747 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 679
116746 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 947
116745 What sea creature scares you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 3
116744 What is your biggest goal in life? How do you plan to achieve... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1298
116743 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 866
116742 Do you think that internet will replace books? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 888
116741 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116740 google ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116739 Google Doc ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116738 The weekend ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04