¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*±³
2022-03-10 1119

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The reason why you get better by realizing the truth after reading ¡ºThe Reality* of Life¡» is because the foresaid first dream was broken.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Tae Kyo! :)
Thank you for this composition. I hope you are referring to the book The Reality of Life. :)
Have a good day! :)

- T. Rina

1. I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence.
>> I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below.
OR: It would be appreciated if you could check the sentence below.

2. The reason why you get better by realizing the truth after reading The Reality of Life is because the foresaid first dream was broken.
>> The reason why you get better by realizing the truth after reading the book The Reality of Life, is because the first dream didn't come true.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118550 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 625
118549 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 542
118548 Introduce ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 609
118547 What was the lamest excuse you had before? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 698
118546 What do you plan on doing when you retire? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 782
118545 Test ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 546
118544 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118543 2022.4.26 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 437
118542 What does the holiday stand for? Why is this holiday celebrated? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 709
118541 best part of my life ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 702
118540 What is your best experience in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 513
118539 Homewark ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118538 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118537 4/26 homework (p≧w≦q) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 498
118536 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118535 What I want to change in Korea\'s education system. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 598
118534 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 4
118533 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 2
118532 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118531 Writing Task(Apr 26th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 729

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04