¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*±³
2022-03-10 1122

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The reason why you get better by realizing the truth after reading ¡ºThe Reality* of Life¡» is because the foresaid first dream was broken.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Tae Kyo! :)
Thank you for this composition. I hope you are referring to the book The Reality of Life. :)
Have a good day! :)

- T. Rina

1. I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence.
>> I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below.
OR: It would be appreciated if you could check the sentence below.

2. The reason why you get better by realizing the truth after reading The Reality of Life is because the foresaid first dream was broken.
>> The reason why you get better by realizing the truth after reading the book The Reality of Life, is because the first dream didn't come true.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118350 Why do you think people worry about aging? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 563
118349 What song would you like to sing for your parents and why? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 765
118348 raise kids ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 563
118347 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 1
118346 First assignment À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 765
118345 my answer ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 507
118344 Are online dating sites just a scam, or can they form lasting... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 1
118343 Self Introduction ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 667
118342 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 944
118341 Which part of your childhood do you wish you could change? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 577
118340 What is your favorite book and why? What lessons can you learn... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 601
118339 The influence of books. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 506
118338 homework ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 497
118337 What positive effect has stress on you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 0
118336 writing task - Tony ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118335 4/19 homework ヾ(≧¡ä≦*)o ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 439
118334 The best place in my city Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1244
118333 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 2
118332 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118331 What is your must-have item when traveling? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 410

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04