¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

we should prepare something if possible.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-10 1133

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First opinion.
If the waiting time is long. If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes. Maybe I would be upset. Of course, if there was an explanation in advance. I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. But if there wasn¡¯t an explanation, even I would not have received the food. Maybe before it was delivered, I would check and cancel the order. I think unexpected things can happen in our life. even if we care more. So the most important thing is timely communication.

Secondly, my limit time for waiting is about fifteen minutes or thirty minutes. But I said before, more important is proper and timely communication.

Anyway, we cannot live according to a plan, because all circumstances can change by me, by others, by somethings else, so we should prepare something that if possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!


Thank you so much for sharing about your thought process when encountering delayed food orders. Personally, I find it difficult to complain when my food is delayed, even when I am in a hurry, I will just kindly ask the personnel to please bring my food quickly, but I will not leave the restaurant because I feel so bad about the food that I ordered. Anyway! great job on explaining. You made great sentences.


For today's corrections, I found that there are some sentences which are best joined together. Other than that, only some punctuation and capitalization corrections.


Thank you for your effort and I look forward to the next one!

-Teacher Violet.



First opinion.

>> CORRECT!

If the waiting time is long.

>> CORRECT!

If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes.  Maybe I would be upset. 

>> If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes, maybe I would be upset. 


Of course, if there was an explanation in advance. I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. 

>> Of course, if there was an explanation in advance,  I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. 


But if there wasn¡¯t an explanation, even I would not have received the food. 

>> CORRECT!


Maybe before it was delivered, I would check and cancel the order. 

>> CORRECT!

I think unexpected things can happen in our life. even if we care more. 

>> I think unexpected things can happen in our life even if we care more. 


So the most important thing is timely communication.

>> CORRECT!

Secondly, my limit time for waiting is about fifteen minutes or thirty minutes. 

>> Secondly, my limit for waiting is about fifteen or thirty minutes. 


But I said before, more important is proper and timely communication.

>> But as I said before,  proper and timely communication is more important.


Anyway, we cannot live according to a plan, because all circumstances can change by me, by others, by somethings else, so we should prepare something that if possible.

>> Anyway, we cannot live according to plan because all circumstances can be changed by me, by others, or by something else, so we should prepare for all possibilities.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118781 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 513
118780 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 480
118779 What is the best thing that happened to you while living in... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1
118778 What do you do if you failed to get what you want? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 636
118777 What personality trait would you like to develop and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 684
118776 5/5 HOMEWORK (TODAY IS CHILDREN\'S... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 539
118775 What other jobs did you have in the past? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 2
118774 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 572
118773 Best and Worst ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 556
118772 In your opinion, Is aging more difficult for men or women? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 712
118771 Money ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 2
118770 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 574
118769 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 540
118768 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 3
118767 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 1
118766 What are the things that usually annoy you? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 592
118765 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 1
118764 Iook at here Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 566
118763 What are the things that usually annoy you? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 1
118762 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 613

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04