¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

we should prepare something if possible.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-10 1164

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First opinion.
If the waiting time is long. If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes. Maybe I would be upset. Of course, if there was an explanation in advance. I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. But if there wasn¡¯t an explanation, even I would not have received the food. Maybe before it was delivered, I would check and cancel the order. I think unexpected things can happen in our life. even if we care more. So the most important thing is timely communication.

Secondly, my limit time for waiting is about fifteen minutes or thirty minutes. But I said before, more important is proper and timely communication.

Anyway, we cannot live according to a plan, because all circumstances can change by me, by others, by somethings else, so we should prepare something that if possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!


Thank you so much for sharing about your thought process when encountering delayed food orders. Personally, I find it difficult to complain when my food is delayed, even when I am in a hurry, I will just kindly ask the personnel to please bring my food quickly, but I will not leave the restaurant because I feel so bad about the food that I ordered. Anyway! great job on explaining. You made great sentences.


For today's corrections, I found that there are some sentences which are best joined together. Other than that, only some punctuation and capitalization corrections.


Thank you for your effort and I look forward to the next one!

-Teacher Violet.



First opinion.

>> CORRECT!

If the waiting time is long.

>> CORRECT!

If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes.  Maybe I would be upset. 

>> If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes, maybe I would be upset. 


Of course, if there was an explanation in advance. I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. 

>> Of course, if there was an explanation in advance,  I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. 


But if there wasn¡¯t an explanation, even I would not have received the food. 

>> CORRECT!


Maybe before it was delivered, I would check and cancel the order. 

>> CORRECT!

I think unexpected things can happen in our life. even if we care more. 

>> I think unexpected things can happen in our life even if we care more. 


So the most important thing is timely communication.

>> CORRECT!

Secondly, my limit time for waiting is about fifteen minutes or thirty minutes. 

>> Secondly, my limit for waiting is about fifteen or thirty minutes. 


But I said before, more important is proper and timely communication.

>> But as I said before,  proper and timely communication is more important.


Anyway, we cannot live according to a plan, because all circumstances can change by me, by others, by somethings else, so we should prepare something that if possible.

>> Anyway, we cannot live according to plan because all circumstances can be changed by me, by others, or by something else, so we should prepare for all possibilities.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118674 What is your definition of success and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 1
118673 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 865
118672 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 603
118671 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 476
118670 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 509
118669 Can you name two things you really want to buy right now? Why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 635
118668 Traditional Books ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 449
118667 What are the times of the year that you give gifts? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 0
118666 The food shortage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 2
118665 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 596
118664 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 5
118663 HOMEWORK: Have you ever had any money stolen from you? Answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 669
118662 In other countries, when someone gets old they often go to live... ±è*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 527
118661 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 1
118660 Nha Trang ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 4
118659 What are you most afraid of? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 1
118658 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 589
118657 What is your dream house? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 563
118656 Who always provides the things you need? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-01 637
118655 Tell me about your daughter¡¯s pre-school. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04