¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

we should prepare something if possible.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-10 855

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First opinion.
If the waiting time is long. If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes. Maybe I would be upset. Of course, if there was an explanation in advance. I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. But if there wasn¡¯t an explanation, even I would not have received the food. Maybe before it was delivered, I would check and cancel the order. I think unexpected things can happen in our life. even if we care more. So the most important thing is timely communication.

Secondly, my limit time for waiting is about fifteen minutes or thirty minutes. But I said before, more important is proper and timely communication.

Anyway, we cannot live according to a plan, because all circumstances can change by me, by others, by somethings else, so we should prepare something that if possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!


Thank you so much for sharing about your thought process when encountering delayed food orders. Personally, I find it difficult to complain when my food is delayed, even when I am in a hurry, I will just kindly ask the personnel to please bring my food quickly, but I will not leave the restaurant because I feel so bad about the food that I ordered. Anyway! great job on explaining. You made great sentences.


For today's corrections, I found that there are some sentences which are best joined together. Other than that, only some punctuation and capitalization corrections.


Thank you for your effort and I look forward to the next one!

-Teacher Violet.



First opinion.

>> CORRECT!

If the waiting time is long.

>> CORRECT!

If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes.  Maybe I would be upset. 

>> If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes, maybe I would be upset. 


Of course, if there was an explanation in advance. I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. 

>> Of course, if there was an explanation in advance,  I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. 


But if there wasn¡¯t an explanation, even I would not have received the food. 

>> CORRECT!


Maybe before it was delivered, I would check and cancel the order. 

>> CORRECT!

I think unexpected things can happen in our life. even if we care more. 

>> I think unexpected things can happen in our life even if we care more. 


So the most important thing is timely communication.

>> CORRECT!

Secondly, my limit time for waiting is about fifteen minutes or thirty minutes. 

>> Secondly, my limit for waiting is about fifteen or thirty minutes. 


But I said before, more important is proper and timely communication.

>> But as I said before,  proper and timely communication is more important.


Anyway, we cannot live according to a plan, because all circumstances can change by me, by others, by somethings else, so we should prepare something that if possible.

>> Anyway, we cannot live according to plan because all circumstances can be changed by me, by others, or by something else, so we should prepare for all possibilities.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117077 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 293
117076 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 572
117075 What do you consider as inappropriate depictions of drinking... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 3
117074 03.04 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117073 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 0
117072 What is the best public transportation in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117071 Find the adjectives in the sentences. 1. You should consider... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117070 Super power ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 396
117069 Which greeting kind of annoys you? Why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117068 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 3
117067 Shopaholic ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 2
117066 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1200
117065 Researching a Number Concept Assignment °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 355
117064 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 272
117063 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 639
117062 I\'m a passionate... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 780
117061 2022.3.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 572
117060 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 732
117059 ANSWER YOUER HOMEWORK QUESTION! ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 716
117058 What can you say about people who often miss deadlines? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 607

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04