¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

we should prepare something if possible.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-10 951

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First opinion.
If the waiting time is long. If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes. Maybe I would be upset. Of course, if there was an explanation in advance. I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. But if there wasn¡¯t an explanation, even I would not have received the food. Maybe before it was delivered, I would check and cancel the order. I think unexpected things can happen in our life. even if we care more. So the most important thing is timely communication.

Secondly, my limit time for waiting is about fifteen minutes or thirty minutes. But I said before, more important is proper and timely communication.

Anyway, we cannot live according to a plan, because all circumstances can change by me, by others, by somethings else, so we should prepare something that if possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!


Thank you so much for sharing about your thought process when encountering delayed food orders. Personally, I find it difficult to complain when my food is delayed, even when I am in a hurry, I will just kindly ask the personnel to please bring my food quickly, but I will not leave the restaurant because I feel so bad about the food that I ordered. Anyway! great job on explaining. You made great sentences.


For today's corrections, I found that there are some sentences which are best joined together. Other than that, only some punctuation and capitalization corrections.


Thank you for your effort and I look forward to the next one!

-Teacher Violet.



First opinion.

>> CORRECT!

If the waiting time is long.

>> CORRECT!

If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes.  Maybe I would be upset. 

>> If the ordered food was delayed by more than one hour and thirty minutes, maybe I would be upset. 


Of course, if there was an explanation in advance. I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. 

>> Of course, if there was an explanation in advance,  I could understand that, and I would make a different plan. 


But if there wasn¡¯t an explanation, even I would not have received the food. 

>> CORRECT!


Maybe before it was delivered, I would check and cancel the order. 

>> CORRECT!

I think unexpected things can happen in our life. even if we care more. 

>> I think unexpected things can happen in our life even if we care more. 


So the most important thing is timely communication.

>> CORRECT!

Secondly, my limit time for waiting is about fifteen minutes or thirty minutes. 

>> Secondly, my limit for waiting is about fifteen or thirty minutes. 


But I said before, more important is proper and timely communication.

>> But as I said before,  proper and timely communication is more important.


Anyway, we cannot live according to a plan, because all circumstances can change by me, by others, by somethings else, so we should prepare something that if possible.

>> Anyway, we cannot live according to plan because all circumstances can be changed by me, by others, or by something else, so we should prepare for all possibilities.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116702 My electronic device ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 888
116701 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 827
116700 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 980
116699 Do you think school uniforms make social differences smaller? Do... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 759
116698 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1380
116697 Action movies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 3
116696 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 726
116695 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 770
116694 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 525
116693 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 546
116692 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1
116691 What is your favorite English movie and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 832
116690 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1510
116689 What K-pop song would you recommend to someone who is not a... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 440
116688 Feb 22th, 2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 334
116687 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1045
116686 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 4
116685 Why do you think family is important? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 4
116684 hw 2.22 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 509
116683 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04