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서비스 입니다.

What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new president of South Korea? What do you think

작성자: 변*원
2022-03-11 624

회원님의 영작문

actually I don't know the president Yoon Seok-youl well. because he was former prosecutor. and I don't know the details about what prosecutor does.
and to be honest, I am not interested in politics.
I went through periods of government of nomuhyun, yimoungpark, parkgenhae, munjaein and now Yoon seok youl. among them, there are good president and bad president. but the society of South korea aren't influenced by them or their policy. I believe that the level of one country about economy, national defense, policy, human rights depends on the people's level of consciousness. I believe the higher intelligence people have, the better society goes. and people can have a wisdom of sorting out a representative who is truly necessary for country and people. if I have a thing to wish to this president-elect, it will be a communication with people. I wish he had mind to look after and ears to listen to the people's voices.
by the way this is my third vote for president. and I expect the followin

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi John!
 
I have never agreed with a student more. Citizens have the utmost power to pick their rightful leader so they have to be very vigilant. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

actually I don't know the president Yoon Seok-youl well. 
>> Actually, I don't know Yoon Seok-yeol that well. 

because he was former prosecutor. and I don't know the details about what prosecutor does.
>> He was a former prosecutor and I'm not familiar with what he does. 

and to be honest, I am not interested in politics.
>> To be honest, I am not interested in politics. 

I went through periods of government of nomuhyun, yimoungpark, parkgenhae, munjaein and now Yoon seok youl. 
>> I went through periods of government of Nomu Yun, Yimoung Park, Park  Genhae, Munjaein, and now, Yoon seok youl. 

mong them, there are good president and bad president. but the society of South korea aren't influenced by them or their policy. 
>> Among them, there are good and bad president but the society of South Korea is not influenced by any of them nor their policies. 

I believe that the level of one country about economy, national defense, policy, human rights depends on the people's level of consciousness. 
> I believe that the level of one country, about the economy, national defense, policy, human rights, depends on the people's level of consciousness. 

I believe the higher intelligence people have, the better society goes. 
>> CORRECT

and people can have a wisdom of sorting out a representative who is truly necessary for country and people.
>> People can have the wisdom to sort out representatives who are truly necessary for the country and other citizens,. 

if I have a thing to wish to this president-elect, it will be a communication with people. 
>> If I had one wish, I want a president who always communicate with the citizens of the country. 

I wish he had mind to look after and ears to listen to the people's voices.
>> CORRECT

by the way this is my third vote for president. 
>> By the way, this is the third time that I vote for a president. 

and I expect the following. 
>> With that, I expect the following. 
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