¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

First homework : Things that make me happy.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-11 404

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Things that make me happy.

There are many kinds of things that make me happy.
First, delicious food makes me happy.
Eating delicious food relieves stress and makes me feel better.

Second, bright friends.
My friends give me bright energy.
This is because if I meet your friends, talk, and spend time together that i can forget about the hard and sad things and have a good time. The stories that my friends tell me are encouraging and a great help.

Lastly, there are precious families.
Families are very important people to me. My family is always on my side.
I support, understand, and always take care of many things I do.
These family actions make me happy.

These many things make me happy.
Therefore, I will try to live happier.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Hazel! ^^
Thank you for explaining your answers in detail. Keep it up! ^^
Please check the corrections below~

- T. Rina


1. There are many kinds of things that make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

2. First, delicious food makes me happy.
>> CORRECT!
OR: Eating delicious food makes me happy.

3. Eating delicious food relieves stress and makes me feel better.
>> CORRECT!

4. Second, bright friends.
>> CORRECT!
OR: Second, having cheerful friends.

5. My friends give me bright energy.
>> CORRECT!

6. This is because if I meet your friends, talk, and spend time together that i can forget about the hard and sad things and have a good time. 
>> This is because if I meet my friends, talk and spend time with them, I can forget about the hard and sad things and have a good time.
OR: This is because I can forget my problems whenever I meet my friends.

7. The stories that my friends tell me are encouraging and a great help.
>> CORRECT!

8. Lastly, there are precious families.
>> CORRECT!

9. Families are very important people to me. 
>> CORRECT!
OR: My family is very important to me.

10.My family is always on my side.
>> CORRECT!

11. I support, understand, and always take care of many things I do.
>> They support, understand and always take care of me.
OR: They support and understand me in everything that I do.

12. These family actions make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

13. These many things make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

14. Therefore, I will try to live happier.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117713 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 595
117712 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 661
117711 2022.3.24 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 700
117710 If there is a place in America that you wanted to live in, where... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117709 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 776
117708 Which is worse, obesity or anorexia? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 617
117707 HOMEWORK ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 2
117706 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 418
117705 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 526
117704 Where is it best to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 295
117703 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 618
117702 3/24 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 552
117701 Are you someone who likes change? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 805
117700 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 3
117699 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 318
117698 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 6
117697 Why do you think conversations are important? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 781
117696 How many hours of sleep do you need and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117695 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 386
117694 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04